Betrothal in Scripture

  1. Introduction and Thesis
    There is a question about the nature of the relationship between Joseph and Mary at the time of the Incarnation. Some commentators speak of that relationship as being the equivalent of what we call engagement, that is, a relationship in which there is a formal commitment to enter into married life at some not-to-distant future date. Other commentators speak of the relationship between Joseph and Mary as being that of the first stage of the married state, which, in ancient times, was termed betrothal. As a result of these differing opinions, Scriptural references to relationships of this sort are sometimes translated as engaged and sometimes translated as betrothed, leaving the impression that betrothal and engagement are essentially synonyms. The thesis presented here is that Scripture itself provides sufficient evidence to determine definitively how the Hebrew word “aras” and the Greek word “mnesteuo” (the words translated as either betrothed or engaged) should be translated with respect to the relationship between Joseph and Mary at the time of the Incarnation, and that the definitive translation for “mnesteuo” in the infancy narratives of Matthew and Luke is the word “betrothed.”  The Law indicates that betrothal refers to the initial phase of the marriage covenant, before the man and woman live together (see Dt 22:13-29, with emphasis on vv. 23-24).  From this, it follows that Joseph and Mary were married at the time of the Incarnation, though they were living apart in this early phase of marriage. 
  2. Witness of the Old Testament
    • Eleven Old Testament Betrothal Verses
      • There are eleven Old Testament verses in which we find the Hebrew and/or the Greek word that is translated into modern English as either “betrothed” or “engaged.” In each instance, the Hebrew and Greek words used are “aras” and “mnesteuo,” respectively.
      • Out of these eleven verses, there are some that are not relevant to the thesis. The non-relevant verses will be briefly noted, and then the verses that are relevant to the thesis will be discussed.
      • In the Old Testament verses that follow below, both “betrothed” and “engaged” are shown, even though the Scripture translation used here always uses “betrothed.” Similarly, the word that is translated in this version as “wife” also can be translated “woman” or “female,” so these are also shown.
    • Hebrew and Greek Words for Betrothed/Engaged
      • Regarding the Hebrew and Greek words that lie behind betrothed/engaged, we find the following for the Old Testament:
        • The Hebrew “aras” is the word used in all of the Old Testament verses mentioned below that contain betrothed/engaged, with the exception of 1 Mac 3:56; the two books of the Maccabees are not found in the Hebrew version of the Old Testament, so there is no Hebrew version of 1 Mac 3:56.
        • The Greek “mnesteuo” is the word used in all of the Old Testament verses mentioned below that contain betrothed/engaged with the exception of Dt 28:30 and 2 Sam 3:14, in which “lambano” (take/receive/get) is used.
    • Betrothal Verses Not Relevant to the Thesis
      • Ex 22:16: “If a man seduces a virgin who is not betrothed/engaged, and lies with her, he shall give the marriage present for her, and make her his wife.”
        • This verse speaks of a virgin who is not betrothed/engaged; hence, the verse is not relevant to the thesis.
      • Dt 20:7: “And what man is there that has betrothed/engaged a woman/wife/female and has not taken her? Let him go back to his house, lest he die in the battle and another man take her.”
        • There is nothing in the context to provide a clue as to whether betrothed or engaged is the proper translation of “aras”; hence, this verse is not relevant to the thesis.
        • Note: “Ishshah” can be translated woman, wife, or female.
      • Dt 22:25, 27: “But if in the open country a man meets a young woman who is betrothed/engaged, and the man seizes her and lies with her, then only the man who lay with her shall die . . . Though the betrothed/engaged young woman cried for help there was no one to rescue her.”
        • These two verses use “aras” in the same sense, but they provide no clues as to whether betrothed or engaged is the proper translation. Because these verses are part of a sequence of verses using “aras,” the better translation is that which is consistent with a definitive use of the word in one of the other verses. As will be seen below, the word is used definitively to mean betrothed in Dt 22:23-24. Nevertheless, these verses are not relevant to the thesis.
      • Dt 22:28-29: “If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed/engaged, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found, then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his woman/wife/female, because he has violated her; he may not put her away all his days.”
        • This verse speaks of a virgin who is not betrothed/engaged; hence, the verse is not relevant to the thesis.
      • Dt 28:30: “You shall betroth/engage a woman/wife/female, and another man shall lie with her; you shall build a house, and you shall not dwell in it; you shall plant a vineyard, and you shall not use the fruit of it.”
        • There is nothing in the context to provide a clue as to whether betrothed or engaged is the proper translation of “aras”; hence, this verse is not relevant to the thesis.
      • 1 Mac 3:56: “And he said to those who were building houses, or were betrothed/engaged, or were planting vineyards, or were fainthearted, that each should return to his home, according to the law.”
        • This verse is found only in the Greek Scriptures because the book was not included in the Hebrew Scriptures. The verse is similar to Dt 20:7 with respect to the use of “betrothed.” As with Dt 20:7, this verse is not relevant to the thesis.
    • Betrothal Verses Relevant to the Thesis
      • Dt 22:23-24: “If there is a betrothed/engaged virgin, and a man meets her in the city and lies with her, then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city, and you shall stone them to death with stones, the young woman because she did not cry for help though she was in the city, and the man because he violated his neighbor’s woman/wife/female; so you shall purge the evil from the midst of you.”
        • In this verse, “ishshah” is almost universally translated as “wife;” hence, we have a clear statement in the Law that equates a betrothed/engaged woman to the state of being a wife. Consequently, this verse supports the thesis.
      • 2 Sam 3:14: “Then David sent messengers to Ishbosheth Saul’s son, saying, ‘Give me my wife Michal, whom I betrothed at the price of a hundred foreskins of the Philistines.’”
        • This verse refers to 1 Sam 18:27: “David arose and went, along with his men, and killed two hundred of the Philistines; and David brought their foreskins, which were given in full number to the king, that he might become the king’s son-in-law. And Saul gave him his daughter Michal for a wife.”
        • In 1 Sam 18:27, “ishshah” is universally translated as either “wife” or “gave him his daughter Michal in marriage.” Clearly, translating “ishshah” as either woman or female in this verse would an awkward translation at best; hence, these verses associate “aras” with “wife”. Consequently, this verse supports the thesis.
      • Hos 2:19-20: “And I will betroth/engage you to me forever; I will betroth/engage you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love, and in mercy. I will betroth/engage you to me in faithfulness; and you shall know the LORD.”
        • This verse speaks of a covenant relationship between God and His people, which is a permanent relationship; it corresponds to the New Testament references (e.g., 2 Cor 11:2, which is noted below) that speak of the relationship between Christ and the Church in marital terms. Marriage is such a covenant relationship, engagement is not. Consequently, this verse supports the thesis.
  3. Witness of the New Testament
    • Word Usage
      • The RSV translation of the New Testament uses the word “betrothed” in the verses found below. The underlying Greek word is “mnesteuo.” Some translations render the Greek word “mnesteuo” as “engaged,” as is the case for the Old Testament.
      • An anomaly occurs with 1 Cor 7:36-38. Where the RSV contains the word “betrothed,” some translations contain “fiancé.” Neither is an accurate translation of the actual Greek word that occurs in that passage. The Greek word is “parthenos,” which means “virgin.”
    • Betrothal Verses Not Relevant to the Thesis
      • Lk 1:26-27: “In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed/engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin’s name was Mary.”
        • The specific context of this verse does not provide a clue as to whether the proper translation is “betrothed” or “engaged.” Consequently, the verse is not relevant to the thesis.
      • 1 Cor 7:36-38: “If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry — it is no sin. But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. So that he who marries his betrothed does well; and he who refrains from marriage will do better.”
        • This is the anomaly passage mentioned above. In these verses, the word “betrothed” is properly rendered “virgin.” Consequently, these verses are not relevant to the thesis.
    • Betrothal Verses Relevant to the Thesis
      • Mt 1:18-19: “Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed/engaged to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child of the Holy Spirit, and her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.”
        • These verses refer explicitly to Joseph as being betrothed and, at the same time, husband of Mary. Consequently, these verses support the thesis.
      • Lk 2:4-5: “And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed/engaged, who was with child.”
        • The specific context of this verse does not provide a clue as to whether the proper translation is “betrothed” or “engaged.” However, we cannot ignore the fact that this event took place well after the angel told Joseph in a dream to take Mary, his wife, into his home:
          • “An angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit . . . When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took his wife, but knew her not until she had borne a son; and he called his name Jesus” (Mt 1:20, 24-25).
        • Consequently, Luke 2:4-5 support the thesis.
      • 2 Cor 11:2: “I feel a divine jealousy for you, for I betrothed you to Christ to present you as a pure bride to her one husband.”
        • As with Hos 2:19-20, mentioned above, this verse speaks of a covenant relationship between God and His people. Marriage is such a covenant relationship, engagement is not. Consequently, this verse supports the thesis.
  4. Theological Support for the Thesis
    • Betrothal as the first phase of marriage
      • Commenting on Luke 1:27, theologian Hans Urs von Balthasar writes: “[Betrothal] according to Jewish law, means that [Mary] is already legally married to [Joseph] but is not yet living with him” (von Balthasar, “Mary: The Church at the Source,” 2005, 155).
      • “Betrothal in ancient Judaism was unlike modern-day engagements. It was a temporary period (up to one year) between the covenant of marriage itself and the time when spouses lived together. Because couples were legally married during this intervening phase, a betrothal could be terminated only by death or divorce” (“Ignatius Catholic Study Bible: New Testament”, commentary on Mt 1:18).
      • “Betrothed to Joseph: betrothal was the first part of the marriage, constituting a man and woman as husband and wife. Subsequent infidelity was considered adultery. The betrothal was followed some months later by the husband’s taking his wife into his home, at which time normal married life began” (The New American Bible’s footnote for Mt 1:18).
      • “Luke is emphatic that Mary, though betrothed to Joseph, was a virgin. Betrothal meant the entering into the legal contract of marriage though consummation did not normally occur until the time when, probably around a year later, the bride left her father’s house to join her husband’s” (Oxford Bible Commentary, commenting on Lk 1:26).
  5. Conclusion: Scripture Equates Betrothal to Marriage
    Once can see from what has been show above that there are some instances in Scripture where there is ambiguity with respect to what should be the proper translation of “aras”/“mnesteuo.” However, it is striking that there is not a single instance that supports the idea that betrothal does not refer to the married state. On the other hand, there are six instances in which there is an explicit connection between “aras”/”mnesteuo” and the married state. Of these six, one occurs in the Law, two speak of a covenant relationship between God and His people, and two explicitly equate betrothal to marriage. Consequently, the thesis has been more than adequately demonstrated. The Hebrew “aras” and the Greek “mnesteuo” should be translated as “betrothed,” which refers to the early period of a marriage during which time a man and woman are married, according to the Law, and fully entitled to all of the privileges of the married state. It follows from this that there is no support in Scripture for stating that the relationship between Joseph and Mary at the time of the Incarnation was merely on the level of a modern-day engagement. On the contrary, Scripture speaks definitively that at the time of the Incarnation, Joseph and Mary were man and wife in the early stage of marriage, which the ancients called betrothal.